Crystal Clear

Western culture has an aura of optimism. And Western Christianity has it too. I struggle with this when things go wrong in life.

Well meaning people may say: “God’s in control. It’ll all work out.” or “Don’t worry, God will provide.”

Those promises are true, but the optimism of Western culture has imbued a meaning to them which may not be what was intended. Which therefore, when reality is found to work out differently, can lead to a real crisis of faith.

Christians have suffered starvation during famines in Africa. God did not provide food for them. Genocide in Kosovo meant that it didn’t all work out for many Christians there.

Why then do we in North America optimistically tell each other it’s going to be okay?

Many people are finding out it’s not okay and it may never be okay. So what might the promises truly mean? What is really solid at the centre?

Not having a good job or even any job, or enough food or a roof over our heads. Not having health and care when we are ill. Not having things get better instead of getting worse.

Maybe good happen to some, but that doesn’t mean they happen because God kept his promise specifically to them.

What we can count on: God’s love and that he will never abandon us. Evidences of beauty and life in even darkness and pain. His presence will give us strength. Everything will be made right, but only fully on the other side of eternity. God is still in control of the big picture.

Everything that we find good beyond these are truly blessings – to be cherished and enjoyed and celebrated. But let us be careful not to add to the promises of God more than what is really there.

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Am I way off? Speaking out of my own pain that which I know not? Help me to understand. Tell me your story.

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We just made our commitments to living in the Kirkendall community for the next year. There’s something about taking a vow that is stirring.

Maybe it’s thrilling because it’s something outside of ourselves, something bigger than just me. Think about what it is like for a refugee who has fled horror to come to the safety of Canada, and is now making their citizenship vow. Or maybe it’s like a doctor, after so many years of schooling, to take the Hippocratic oath.

When we do this sincerely and commit ourselves to keeping that vow, even when our emotions make us reconsider, and we keep at it until all other avenues are explored, that is an amazing, wonderful thing!

At the beginning of the Christian story, God makes a promise, a vow, that he’ll fix things, even though it was us that started making the mess. In the end it cost him the death of his son. Jesus wanted there to be another way, a way out, but in the end he kept his end of the bargain.

I think the keeping of promises / vows / commitments are such opportunities for hope.

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Can the rich and the poor really work together? Disparity in income and material worth creates such a large barrier.

Sanctuary is a church in downtown Toronto that believes that the rich and poor actually need each other.

The stereotypical ‘homeless’ person in North America has some sort of addiction – alcohol or drugs or maybe both. Often this is because of the pain they have experienced in their lives from which they are trying to hide. Perhaps abuse as a child or some other major trauma in their life.

The stereotypical ‘rich’ person in North America goes to work every day and tries to keep their relationships healthy. Fear is present here too – fear of losing their job and their car or house, fear of losing their spouse or fear of estrangement from their kids. And that fear is hidden in striving for success or vacations to get away or sports to change the focus.

Helping each other in this scenario is different then than the ‘helping’ of poor people by rich people – where the rich hope the poor can someday live a ‘normal’ life like them. But that would only trade one set of fears for another.

The barrier of wealth actually isolates the rich more than one would think. Because the rich think they don’t need help, they are isolated from actually voicing the help they really want, deep down, if they stopped and though about it.

This is a similar dynamic that occurs when rich people in North America or Europe want to help poor people in Africa or Latin America. Again, what’s not needed is money.

What is needed?

Connecting to people who are different than us with an attitude of what can I learn. Self-awareness of the things that I need and a willingness to discover new needs as I get to know those who are different. A belief that I have something to offer to everyone, and that something isn’t money, and I’ll find out what that something is after I’ve listened first.

Maybe then we can help each other.

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What do you have left when the bottom of your world drops out?

Friends can help. And you can dig deep into yourself and reserves of strength there.

But what if even those let you down?

When I doodled on this during a dark time (doodling helps me to get my thoughts and feelings out) at the very bottom, I found something to believe in.

After being unable to believe in myself or in my friends, I found:

1. I believe there is going to be a good ending when it’s all over
2. I believe I have a companion along the way
3. I believe I am loved

So that’s what’s at the bedrock – loved by God, the creator of the universe; his Spirit with me; and his good plan that will come about in the end.

Which is pretty close to the early Christian church’s mantra: Christ has died [out of love], Christ has risen [so his Spirit can be poured out], Christ will come again [good plan].

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I’m reading Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller. Three points struck me so far:

1. We are all evil inside. I agree with him wholeheartedly but have a hard time accepting this. Do I have inside me the same evil that would force children to become soliders or would rape women in the Congo? I don’t want to say yes. I fight it, but I am the same as all other humans: that same darkness does live deep inside me.
2. Grace and forgiveness is a gift, and that’s hard to accept. He said some people don’t have a problem accepting this free gift from God, but many of us do. We say we accept it, but then we work hard to live up to it (to be worthy of receiving it) or we feel guilty when do bad things or are ungrateful. Both are indicators that we haven’t fully understood that God just loves and accepts us. Just the way we are. Fully and completely with all our problems. Loves us through and through.
3. God is a mystery. He’s affirming what our Eastern Orthodox brothers and sisters have always treasured. This speaks to me as I’m not the logical, provable type of person. I feel comforted by the mystery and mystical about God and my faith in him. So, it’s good to hear there are other Western Christians okay with and needing the mystery of God.

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Nothing stays the same, does it? When we want to hold on to something it gets squished, or stale.

And then we might reminisce about how good it was – but that seems like only a shallow comfort. Grasping a shadow of what was.

I’ve found this to be true in friendships, in the church, and you can see it in history.

Maybe that’s because we’re supposed to develop and change. When we do, there are new experiences and new joys. New memories are made.

But we can’t hold on to those either. We have to keep living and writing the story. We can’t stay stationary. But moving means also that you lose some things along the way. Because times change and people change and places change.

I’m sad about the loss of the way things were – 3 years ago, or last year, or even a month ago. But I can’t stay here – I need to forge ahead with the new, with the changes.

The really sweet pieces are the ones you get to keep, the people that change too and continue with you along the way.

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