January 13, 2010
Helping or Hurting?
I was told a story about a group of North Americans who visited a Latin American country to help rebuild after a natural disaster.
One day, a truck pulls up with stones for the cement. A local worker begins to shovel it out, one shovelful at a time, while the truck driver sits in his cab. A couple of the North American men jump up on the truck to help the ‘poor’ guy.
The driver jumps out of the truck and is very angry.
The entire truck is not meant to be emptied. Each shovelful was being counted and would be charged for. That count is now disrupted.
Very rarely does acting first and listening later actually produce a better result. How many times do we need to watch and experience that the most important thing is to listen first?
No one feels good when someone comes at you with an “I know what your problem is and I’m going to help you fix it, or fix it for you.”
I read a book called “When Helping Hurts” which looks at this deeper and more clearly than I’ve seen laid out before. Read the book or at least look at this visual book summary (when_helping_hurts2).
Because trying to help could actually end up hurting someone, it is critical we think deeper. Just trying to help isn’t enough.
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