Crystal Clear

We just made our commitments to living in the Kirkendall community for the next year. There’s something about taking a vow that is stirring.

Maybe it’s thrilling because it’s something outside of ourselves, something bigger than just me. Think about what it is like for a refugee who has fled horror to come to the safety of Canada, and is now making their citizenship vow. Or maybe it’s like a doctor, after so many years of schooling, to take the Hippocratic oath.

When we do this sincerely and commit ourselves to keeping that vow, even when our emotions make us reconsider, and we keep at it until all other avenues are explored, that is an amazing, wonderful thing!

At the beginning of the Christian story, God makes a promise, a vow, that he’ll fix things, even though it was us that started making the mess. In the end it cost him the death of his son. Jesus wanted there to be another way, a way out, but in the end he kept his end of the bargain.

I think the keeping of promises / vows / commitments are such opportunities for hope.

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On Earth… the problem had been with cars. The disadvantages involved in pulling lots of black sticky slime from out of the ground where it had been safely hidden out of harm’s way, turning it into tar to cover the land with, smoke to fill the air with and pouring the rest into the sea, all seemed to outweigh the advantages of being able to get more quickly from one place to another – particularly when the place you arrived at had probably become, as a result of this, very similar to the place you had left, i.e. covered with tar, full of smoke and short of fish. (from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

Satire and humour sometimes get to the absurdity of our life in a way regular speech often can’t. And, it can help us step back a minute and think about what we’re really doing with our actions and decisions.

Because reading articles about the problems with the sealants we put down on our driveways (Environmental News Network, and US Geological Service) doesn’t always have the same shock factor nor encourages us to change our actions, like:

1. Drive less and use / encourage alternative types of transportation (transit, walking, bike lanes / paths, trains, etc)
2. Put in a different driveway – gravel, interlock, grass / interlock or ‘grassy pavers‘ and the like
3. Support restriction of harmful chemicals – like coal tar and the like

We’re always going to need to travel and move around. But maybe we can think about doing it only as much as needed, not doing it needlessly, and doing it in the least destructive way possible.

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I was told a story about a group of North Americans who visited a Latin American country to help rebuild after a natural disaster.

One day, a truck pulls up with stones for the cement. A local worker begins to shovel it out, one shovelful at a time, while the truck driver sits in his cab. A couple of the North American men jump up on the truck to help the ‘poor’ guy.

The driver jumps out of the truck and is very angry.

The entire truck is not meant to be emptied. Each shovelful was being counted and would be charged for. That count is now disrupted.

Very rarely does acting first and listening later actually produce a better result. How many times do we need to watch and experience that the most important thing is to listen first?

No one feels good when someone comes at you with an “I know what your problem is and I’m going to help you fix it, or fix it for you.”

I read a book called “When Helping Hurts” which looks at this deeper and more clearly than I’ve seen laid out before. Read the book or at least look at this visual book summary (when_helping_hurts2).

Because trying to help could actually end up hurting someone, it is critical we think deeper. Just trying to help isn’t enough.

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Can the rich and the poor really work together? Disparity in income and material worth creates such a large barrier.

Sanctuary is a church in downtown Toronto that believes that the rich and poor actually need each other.

The stereotypical ‘homeless’ person in North America has some sort of addiction – alcohol or drugs or maybe both. Often this is because of the pain they have experienced in their lives from which they are trying to hide. Perhaps abuse as a child or some other major trauma in their life.

The stereotypical ‘rich’ person in North America goes to work every day and tries to keep their relationships healthy. Fear is present here too – fear of losing their job and their car or house, fear of losing their spouse or fear of estrangement from their kids. And that fear is hidden in striving for success or vacations to get away or sports to change the focus.

Helping each other in this scenario is different then than the ‘helping’ of poor people by rich people – where the rich hope the poor can someday live a ‘normal’ life like them. But that would only trade one set of fears for another.

The barrier of wealth actually isolates the rich more than one would think. Because the rich think they don’t need help, they are isolated from actually voicing the help they really want, deep down, if they stopped and though about it.

This is a similar dynamic that occurs when rich people in North America or Europe want to help poor people in Africa or Latin America. Again, what’s not needed is money.

What is needed?

Connecting to people who are different than us with an attitude of what can I learn. Self-awareness of the things that I need and a willingness to discover new needs as I get to know those who are different. A belief that I have something to offer to everyone, and that something isn’t money, and I’ll find out what that something is after I’ve listened first.

Maybe then we can help each other.

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